I'd take eve's any day! Coping with a shift work schedule when both of you must continue to work and you have a new baby in the family may not be easy. my hubby also works 2nd 1pm-11pm. Yard work is done on the weekends. Article from theothershift.com. Good luck. The ambitious male bosses are supposed to love the guy who's the last one out the office door at night and who volunteers to work on weekends. About EG Workforce But children remain on a schedule of sleeping at night and being awake during the day. However, even with all of the negative things stated, there is hope. At least twice a week, but I usually closed five times a week. Check out these headlines from Mother's Day coverage: “Want to Make Mom Happy? Anyone else who has a hubby with an odd schedule...what is your family's daily schedule like? It's exhausting for both of us, but it allows us to raise our own children and not pay child care. Maybe you are over thinking things. A: The 2nd shift is an evening or night shift. I know exactly what we will do that night. Who can blame me? For example, if you work the graveyard shift and arrive home at 8 a.m., eat "dinner" with your partner as he/she eats breakfast before work. Mothers are more likely to … With third shift I go to work from 10:30-7AM, go to sleep around 9AM, wake up around 2-4PM, stay awake then nap about 8-10PM. I do laundry on the weekends and don't stress if my house is a little messy. Storytime together with him before all the kids get their nap. Thanks anyways! I had to be alert for the baby. I like having him on the off shift we do get alot packed into the day. Thanks! (although days are much perferred, lol). Every woman Hochschild interviews knows that image, and most of them simply laugh when asked how the icon relates to their real lives. J. Best of luck! Millions of firefighters, police officers, medical caregivers, manufacturing production workers and service industry employees work such shifts. Everyone would stay up late (she has two kids, a 1 yo & a 5 yo), ate with him etc. I go about my daycare schedule with the kids until 11ish when my husband gets up. We have a late dinner--sometimes it is much "lunch-like" since I tend to serve dinner like items for lunch with the daycare kids. So we see each other all the time. I don't think she's doing anyone any favors. I'm wondering what everyone's sleep, play. And that can put a lot of stress on their marriage. I would have me time then go to bed. Thurs: 1pm to 9 pm (or) 12noon to 8 pm The house does seem to fall apart around me when the schedule changes, but only temporarily. MomsRising.org strongly encourages our readers to post comments in response to blog posts. Your "special day" might start well with flowers, gifts, cards, and maybe even breakfast in bed, but it quickly morphs into "business as usual." Thanks! Answered April 21, 2019. If it's for the long term (a few months) we flow into a new routine eventually. Downvote. We have a normal schedule, normal dinner and bed time. I go in at 3 pm and I get off anytime between 11:30 pm and 2:30 am, depending on when the work wraps up. Consider these findings from Pew Research Center: 56 percent of dads say chores are split evenly between parents, but half of moms say they do more around the house. Second shift … Have to make sure he gets his clothes from the rooms before I put them down for nap so he doesn't wake them. We always talk about how hard it is going to be for hubby and the kiddos when they are in school, because they won't see each other for 4 days straight :-(. And then they just all slept late. Working as an honest, transparent team with your support network and treasuring the time you do spend together makes managing family life and the 2nd shift possible. I recently switched jobs and I used to work 1st shift 7am-2pm at the other job. But that leads us to the second issue, namely, should one work with family, and if so, how do you do so without going crazy? Sure enough, when I was about to become a working mother, I summoned the mental image of the "woman with the flying hair" and told myself, sure, I'll be frazzled, but it's how things are. I know someone who's wife works second shift adn in one occasion- his wife was "going to work" at 10pm and was actually going out to party with some guys and didn't come back till the next day at about 6am since that was the time her shift ended. Enjoy it! The Risks of Shift Work. Is it a given in your mind and that of your partner's that as a working mother, you’ll be frazzled, overloaded at home and work, and could use a lot more help from your husband than you get? Go with the flow and just try to get the baby on a good schedule for sleep and eating. I really hated waking up in the morning but at the same time if they ever gave me a night shift I was so bummed. eval(ez_write_tag([[580,400],'mamapedia_com-box-4','ezslot_3',638,'0','0']));I think, and it's just my opinion, that people are to into following schdules, I know when my kids were little everyday was different and i myself liked that, because with schdules, especially was writtin in stone, the first time something does not get done it turns the whole day upside down, dinner was the only thing that i really remember have a specific time was dinner between 5:30 and 6 and kids bed time between 8:30 and 9, my husband just got off a shift where he worked from 12 noon to 9:30 pm, I did not change anything. We are super lucky that I work FT from home, so the kiddos stay home with a babysitter while I'm in my home office working. I hate it, but I’m content. When he is on eves, I make sure that I plan ahead. We're in a different situation since I work full time and my 4yo's in full day pre-k, but we make due with timed phone calls so DD knows that daddy's still there and special family time on the weekends. :). He would go into work at 2pm, Coop didn't get home from school until 2:25, Dan would come home for lunch at 7pm but have to be back by 8 & then he would get home between 12 & 2am. Unfortunately, that idealized vision of Mother's Day rarely bears any resemblance to its reality. It is a once-in-a-blue-moon opportunity that we actually get a day off together. There are times when days go by that he doesn't see her awake. Jul 11, 2019 - Are you trying to juggle family life while working the 2nd shift? How to work 2nd shift with a family? Many families are feeling the stress of overcommitted and overscheduled lives. Hang in there. Downvote. They still sleep late though! But, the best sleep happens when it can be in one longer stretch. The Second Shift: Working Families and the Revolution at Home - Ebook written by Arlie Hochschild, Anne Machung. Asked August 9, 2018. Sometimes you wonder what is "normal" any longer ... it's what you make it most of the time. This creates a small window for a parent to interact with their child. My hubby worked the 2nd shift 5 days a week when my oldest was a baby. My hubby works a rotating days (1-3) and eves (3-11) schedule. Jul 29, 2019 - Are you trying to juggle family life while working the 2nd shift? eval(ez_write_tag([[300,250],'mamapedia_com-banner-1','ezslot_4',640,'0','0']));My family doesn't have that type of shift but a good friend of mine did; the schedule revolved around. I think many mothers are tired just reading about the chaos of our lives. Things have changed now though because she opened a business with another good friend (it doesn't open until 11, LOL) and her husband has now decided he wants to deliver pizzas so those hours fluctuate; he also teaches guitar. Hochschild’s findings were clear and familiar to many women: when they get home from work, many women with children work a “second shift” of domestic and child care responsibilities. “Busy Working Mother Still Finds Time to Work Out”, “Working Moms Wish List: More Flexibility Would Make It All Work”, Review the Week: Peach & Impeach [Jan. 8, 2021]. Kids are already asleep usually... Yet in all cases, working and SAHMs alike, the mothers reported that they are responsible for the majority of all “at-home” work,” says Forbes. You'll probably need to rely on trustworthy people sourced from your family, friends, and neighbors to help you out as much as possible. Downvote 2. For help text HELP or contact us. I find if he's on eve's for the short term (a week or two) we just pick up when he goes back to days, lol. So we actively moderate comments and we reserve the right to edit or remove comments that undermine these goals. Me and the baby stayed on one schedule and my husband had his own eating/sleeping/chores schedule. “Working Moms Wish List: More Flexibility Would Make It All Work” I oversee homework, get them dinner, ensure cleanliness and get them into bed each night. Let’s consider both sides. (although days are much perferred, lol). We can't live off of pizza and corndogs all the time after all, lol! Many family-owned businesses (i.e. Individuals who work the night shift often come home and sleep during the day. Not only are more women in full-time positions, but they are often an equal contributor to the finances of the household. It's meant to be a day of respite, a chance to put your feet up and bask in the glow of your family's appreciation and adoration. Unfortunately, 2nd shift work schedules tend to create some obstacles in family life. Researchers theorize that this is because women work a longer "second shift" tending to home and family responsibilities than men do. My hubby tries to knock out as many chores as he can between 7:30 and 10:00 am when our daughter wakes up, then has breakfast with her if his work schedule allows. There are pros and cons of course; some people love working with family members, while others can’t bear the thought of it. MomsRising Education FundAs a charity, MomsRising Education Fund is nonpartisan and does not support or oppose any candidate for elected public office. Text Size. On nights he's home around 9:30 pm, I'll sometimes let her stay up to see him before bed since he left before she woke up. Hubby works 8 days on, 6 days off. As I read a raft of Mother’s Day stories, I was struck at how, over the past twenty years, our culture has seemed to absorb the second shift as natural for most moms. 4 on 2 off. By the way...we have one baby, one 4 year old that goes to dayschool twice a week. All the Scout things and school functions and birthday parties we just work in as needed. 4pm-10:00pm for my store 2nd shift never stayed past 10:30 or 11:00 at the latest. I have a home daycare and work 50 hours/week, 7:30 am-5:30 pm Monday-Friday. Working second shift allows you to also work a first or third shift as well depending on the hours your assigned. When he gets home he eats a snack before bed, watches a little TV if he still needs to wind down, or depending on which day of the week, goes straight to bed without passing "go" (his quick turnaround days). Hochschild writes of the “stalled revolution,” in which women assume more traditionally male roles as breadwinners and workers, but manage to work on average an extra month a year at home. Hope this helps! Before starting a second shift, here are 8 Questions Manufacturers Want to Ask their Workforce. Do you think sometimes you play into the archetype because it's such a familiar one? Once your shift ends at closing time … 3pm until 10pm. (Scheduling), Would Love to Hear from Moms of 3 or More Children Who Stay Home Full-time. Most of my friends work first shift, and even my friends who work the same shift as me tend to go to sleep soon after they get off work. Answered February 7, 2018 - Dry Grocery Stocker (Former Employee) - Mishawaka, IN. He worked this schedule when our older daughter was a baby...that was waaay easier than with a 4 year old too! It's incredibly hard and really sucks, frankly. Mine are 12 and 9 now, and I don't feel nearly as alone. My husband works a regressive schedule and finally, after 20 years, gets Sundays off. Is the second shift and the ensuing stress it creates a permamnent fixture of our  world? “Why Time is Such a Welcome Gift” The book is moving and sometimes nauseating in its intensity. :), Sun: off Currently my hubby works the graveyard shift. Report . doctor’s offices, dentist’s officers, chiropractors, and specialty stores) close by 6 pm. 1pm to 10pm. Read this book using Google Play Books app on your PC, android, iOS devices. No one seems to be understanding what I'm asking! is! Does the Second Shift still apply? Hochschild’s findings were clear and familiar to many women: when they get home from work, many women with children work a “second shift” of domestic and child care responsibilities. Well now where I work I have only worked 2pm-10:30pm because the other employees are set in their first shifts. How To Make Shift Work Family Friendly Low-wage workers face the most rigid schedules, even as they need flexibility the most: A disproportionately high number are single moms. Harder in winter but I've gotta insist on it because I don't get a break from our daughter until she is asleep at night since he is gone for work before she wakes from nap. Pretty much I deal with the house and kids. Wed: 2 pm to 10 pm Yes, I will become a "day walker" this month - but only until the end of summer. Right now our 2 mo old is the priority and then $ yr old then MIl, so things fall in place by what they didtcate in that order, the olders having to be more flexable. Moms spend twice as much time on childcare as dads do. Upvote. It can be frustrating as the mom, too, because you feel sort of trapped in between two worlds. Once the daycare kids go home by 5 most days, then she plays or watches her tv for the day or pesters me while I try to do chores or we run errands together. We had DD #2 (2 mo old) and he is now working 130pm till 1100, so he gets MIL up and dressed, I wake up w baby and woever is acvailable gets our 4 yr old dressed and we eat breakfast (I usualy get something together in crock pot at this time) light lunch then drop daughter off at preschool. They are actually pretty interesting growing people, and now that are like mini-adults sometimes... so we can discuss the world and news, current events, etc.. not just mind numbing story books, lol. Report. I work from home as a daycare provider. Upvote. As for the kids, being an active parent involves not only being smart with your roster but also your time in making every moment count. I handle almost all big chores around the house and finish whatever daily chores my husband doesn't have time to do before work. Text alerts by Moms Rising. “Busy Working Mother Still Finds Time to Work Out” What time does the mid day shift start at Family Dollar. For 17 years, Ed Davis has worked from 10 p.m. to 8 a.m. because it allows him to work one week then be off the next. Shift working parents have to juggle the demands of family life alongside stressful jobs, long hours and rotating shifts. He will head to work shortly after and I pick DD up, we have outside time, baths are done if needed after dinner and then bed time. Report. I’m re-reading Arlie Hochschild’s 1989 classic in preparing a syllabus for a course on 21st Century feminism. Ha. There is no easy way it can be the same everyday when you have one that goes to dayschool twice a week and the hubby works 8 days on and 6 off. That aha moment launched our quest to recognize and overcome the problems that shift jobs created in our family. An overburdened working woman might bite her lip instead of speaking out, because if her partner takes on more at home, maybe he will be more vulnerable at work. He gets home in the morning and is able to get the kids ready for school while I go to work. But it is still hard, because some days he doesn't see them at all, because they are in school or gone to bed when he is home/awake and he is gone to work/asleep when they are home. Msg & Data Rates May Apply. You’ll be driving toward the office when most people are driving home, ensuring a safer and less stressful commute. I'm asking about your FAMILY daily routine, if you have one. I work second shift. It can be really hard. Mon: off Recipe for succes. Here’s working mother management guru Jamie Woolf: "Like most holidays, Mother's Day is full of expectations and good intentions. Our daily schedule is that I get up and get the kids up and get them ready for school/breakfast, drive them. It would sometimes seem like a gap between him and the kids getting together for any real time, but keeping them on a "normal" routine was the best thing. Even as men report more work life conflict, frazzled supermom seems here to stay. Jennifer Garner: “I’m as Frazzled as Any Working Mother”. Parenting is a team effort. I’m curious: are you conscious of a “second shift” mentality? I work 4 to midnight for my store. Just because he is on a second shift schedule does not mean everyone else should be. Healthy Children > Family Life > Work & Play > The Risks of Shift Work Family Life Listen. The authors conclude this is not true, but their article and its headline feeds into the Second Shift mentality. I also do most of the errands, all cooking and handle all appointments, maintenance and bills for the household. Men have long worried that being too involved with their families will cost them at work. Could this mean women that will be more reticent to negotiate who does the housework and the child care? Relax a little or you will be even more stressed out! Can’t mow the lawn at 11pm or while i’m sleeping in the morning. I work 8-4 and my husband works 4-10. I feel like I have more time at home, awake when I work third shift but I'm more tired at work especially since it's slower. He would not be happy on 1st he would love 3rd but he would not have the job he has currently so its a toss up. Sharing a meal together whenever possible offers one ideal way to communicate and spend quality time with one another. Our goals for this space are to be educational, thought-provoking, and respectful. :) But, she also didn't do daycare or preschool and didn't go anywhere if it was before noon (unless it was a doc appointment). While working second shift, you’ll avoid rush hour altogether. For a long time her husband would be getting up at 10 p.m. to head off to work at 12 (He didn't have the off and on schedule your husband does though). The views and opinions expressed in this post are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect those of MomsRising.org. Sometimes I think it is getting easier for us as the kids get older and understand his work life a little more. Working 2nd Shift With a Family: How to Remain a Solid Unit. I’m re-reading Arlie Hochschild’s 1989 classic in preparing a syllabus for a course on 21st Century feminism. His day: He gets up, eats something, maybe goes running, or works out, goes and does some volunteer work, or plays golf, etc.. On work days, he veg's around here or takes care of personal stuff (haircuts, etc) in the morning, or runs, whatever, until time to get showered for work. He was working really hard to keep our family cared for and doing what he had to at the time. Answered September 7, 2018. My husband sleeps a full 8 hours every night....I think I'll just stick with my law enforcement family group for this question. Sometimes I cook the dinner for that night and for lunch the next day before she goes to bed or sometimes if we've been running errands I get her to bed and cook later or the next morning. If you also worked (needed to leave him in charge of the kids), he would have to sleep in two blocks, most likely. So why manufacturers have implemented a night shift and most importantly what made it a work? Here is a helpful guide to making your shift work schedule as family friendly as possible gl, well before our 2nd daughter came along he worked 4am-130pm I had the morning (we are caregivers for my MIL) I would get her up and dresses and 6am, go back to sleep till 8, then when daughter (yr old) woke up make breakfast and get her dressed and myself showered and dressed, light lunch then preschool drop off at 1145 and run errands then pick her up (or hubby would on way home). My husband works 4pm to 12 am as evening manager of a library. Ha. My husband works 2nd shift (4p-2a). Asked February 9, 2019. We're trying to build in some daddy daughter outings so I can get a break during the day relatively (I still have the other kids there) and our DD can get some quality one on one daddy time. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading The Second Shift: Working Families and the Revolution at Home. When it’s a beautiful day I stare outside ready to just leave! 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